XRockstar_babeX44's Xanga

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 18:25:52 GMT

New Xanga.

www.xanga.com/til_death_do_us_partX13

Friday, July 28, 2006

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 19:01:28 GMT

I hate the truth when It hurts all you people who are being brutally honest with me I know your trying to help me but god damn, I am finally realizing that you might be right and Maybe I should have listened to you earlier before i got in too deep. It might be time to finally realize I was wrong or It might not, I guess I'll just see what happens because I'm happy right now and I'm pretty sure I'm not "just telling myself" that but, you never know, right? I could be...since apparently I know nothing.

Ok, I like this job because I make good money (for a high-school student) But It is so effing BORING! it seems like all I do is make drinks for three strait hours...but I'm finally learning Ice cream so I'm moving on up...lol i get to learn headset and car hopping next week so I am hoping that it gets "less boring" and More exciting but working at sonic dosent exactly say EXCITEMENT! lol

Possible edit later.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 02:11:43 GMT

hey guys so yesterday was so much fun you have no idea! I had like a bazillion ppl at my house Like daniel, mel, carissa, kevin and charlie w/ the exception of kevin and daniel i hadnt seen those fools in forever! lol

then i got in a fight with someone and I got upset last night but i have had it explained to me in better terms by someonw else so i am not as sad a/b it.

well sorry to make it short but that all i have to say comment u fools!

2 MONTHS AND 6 DAYS TILL THE DOOR OPENS!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 18:23:45 GMT

locked up feelings....

Hello, Hello! I have just started working! working Is grand....I liked it more than I thought I would.

I've been thinking about lots of things...lots of people that have been frustrating me and making me sad and I've come to the conclusion that they are just not worth thinking about anymore...My dads side of the family still hates me and I try to tell myself they arent worth it...But my heart never lets that happen i cant seem to let go of anyone that I want to let go of It's just really hard for me. Sometimes its easy...when youre just fed up but theres always sadness in goodbye...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 19:34:33 GMT

Omg.

I just got Up like 2 hours ago and I am still kinda tired! so, yesterday we went to buy stuff from QT and then we ended up buying a sprite for Daniel and on the way back from QT Daniel came to get it and my Mom was like Wait...your step-dad works for pepsi and I happen to know you have alot of damn pop at your house! It was Funny never a dull moment over here since Daniel and kevin A and B and my mom are always here they crack me up and I have so Much fun with them.

We are Re-doing The bathroom It looks pretty...well, Im sure in a couple days it will be beautiful....

Icon time...yes they are britney icons....shut up I like her!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:39:17 GMT

I am really tired of internet pervs it's like i go to my myspace and I have comments from people who wanna get in my pants or something and I'm sorry but i just dont role that way....and all these stupid xanga people AIMing me tell me they can see me...yah I take that shyt seriously so i suggest you stop or...else. Fucking Idiots.

On a happier note It's my grammas birthday today...I dont know how old she is and even if i did i wouldnt write it in here! lol hmm, what else? Nothing really went down this weekend friday i went to my grammas and talked on the phone for a really long time and i had to sleep downstairs since it was SO hot upstairs so i slept on the couch and then saturday morning the AC fixer dudes came and fixed the AC and they scared me I thought they were burgulars..lol I get scared of too many things! then that afternoon i went out and that was fun sunday was just kinda boring and now I'm doing this...

so apparently I'm not allowed to talk to my dad until he pays child suppport because he's obviously in a power struggle or some shyt. ahahha. I really hate him sometimes..Maybe its because he knows i was sopeonad and I'm going because I love my cousin and family comes first in my life and even if the person i'm testifying against is my uncle it was still wrong and my cousin Is like one of my best friends and I found out my other cousin is pregnant!! yaay! another little baby! and I still havent gotten to meet cale my little boy cousin (heather's baby) I heard that his name was cale.

I got in trouble with my dad because supposedly i am "sooo selfish" for not going to see my step-mom in the hospital so I went to see her and I got in trouble for going to see her I was still selfish because I was "only doing it to make him happy" and I was like damn, wtf? so whatever tayler was like thats so bullcrap cuz your not selfish you shouldnt have to even go see someone who treated you like crap and your dads just too stuck on himself to admit it...so apparently everyone was pissed off at me for some dumbass reason oh and for defending my cousin....which is also bullshit why would she lie about something like that....EXACTLY! she wouldnt...so why wont you just accept that this happened accident or not!

speaking of cousins lest we forget colton who i havent seen or talked to in a bazillion years! I miss him! and i miss gina and taylor and natalie but its been like a bazillion years since ive even talked to colton...

well this is the end of my entry.

I like this...

aww shes so cute!

Is it all in my head?

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 23:50:21 GMT

I think I am depressed....

I usually dont go to bed till like 3 am, I barely eat, I feel sick all the time and It's getting to the point where I am even starting to get crying spells. It's miserable and I dont know why I feel this way...maybe my dosage on the prozac needs to be upped...but I'm tired of being drugged up all the time for this or that It cant be helping to be on this much medicine!

Is there something wrong with me or is it all in my head it's probably in my head considering I am a miladramatic (spell check) hypochondriac. I.need.a.life speaking of life isint it wonderful.

lalalalalala...life is wonderful...lalalalala life goes full circle...

- Jason Mraz.

sorry i had to get skitzo there for a minute because i'm trying to make things more pleasent so its harder to get "depressed" i dont know what heck i have to be depressed about maybe i'm just sick? which reminds me of amother song!so of course ima take some of the lyrics and share them with you.

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick
-flyleaf

like all my lyrics i feel like i live my life through alot of song lyrics...i write my own but other music just sounds alot better to me heres some more stuff i can relate to...Its all so diffrent in feeling but thats just me...

a fucking mood ring.

All my efforts to clean me
Leave me putrid and filthy
And how can you look at me
When I can't stand myself

-flyleaf

you know who the first icon is for and the second one is oh so true.

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
-Evanescence

S.O.S. please someone help me.
It's not healthy... for me to feel this way
Y.O.U. are making this hard,
I can't take it, see it don't feel right
S.O.S. please someone help me
It's not healthy... for me to feel this way
Y.O.U. are making this hard
You got me tossin' and turnin' and can't sleep at night
-Rihanna

Man i used to be obsessed with the parent trap I always hoped that would happen with my parents lol that was a waste of time so young and naive.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 20:05:57 GMT

So today is the fourth of July. It's a sad day but at the same time..It's sorta a time for Renewing things today Marks the third anniversary of the worst day of my life and last night was not that great either. I love you Melissa! and believe me everything will be okay!

-Edit-

I'm so effin stressed. And Its killing me. Nothing I do is right and I wish I could just sleep it all away or something.I wish people would just back up off me and give me some room to breathe I'm not talking about any one person, most of this Is just me being whiney. Most of the things In my life are just getting old. Making trip after trip to the doctor. My dad yelling at me and fighting with me everytime I call so I hardly ever talk to him anymore. but honestly there are so many of you out there making It better. I couldnt make it without you.

I miss someone....

probably more than they even know...

with you I am happier than I ever am without you.

I forget about the stupid things in life....

because I love you.

I saw Miss Emily yesterday twas great fun....gabby and I ate at my grammas house and watched fireworks off the balcony of his 3 STORY house I sat out there with gabby and wee took pix yup...yup... fun stuff!

so recognizing the most awesomest people In my life Just a few of them of course this is not the ALL!

Miss gabby My sexy luver...hehehe!

Mr Rob darling...

Meleeeeeeeesa!

I <3 you all!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 18:51:24 GMT

Hey guys!

IHOP is hiring so i applied there today...yah, I'm pretty sure they'll call but i need to go get my FHP too, anyone else need to get it? I also applied at java daves and a dog grooming place called pooches! So I'm hoping I can get a job.

I might get to see my dearest Mel tonight woo and hoo. I hope so!

Happy independence day!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 22:25:27 GMT

I <3 myspace now... lol

I'll will write on this still Xanga has been my friend much longer than myspace has.

I'm hanging out with my Mel tomorrow. Woot.

Yesterday was bad... We went to best buy and got some stuffs...and Daniel got really mad at me...and I cried until we got to outback and then he said some more stuff to me and I went in the bathroom and cried again It was horrible It takes alot to make me cry most of the time I dont know what came over me last night I just felt so hated.It was bad

we went to bixby today and borders that was fun...I suppose.